12 ways to get ready for Wii Sports Resort

Wii Sports is one of the most played titles on the Wii and is (so they say) one of the most successful games of all time. Granted, it was bundled in with the Wii, and considering how the Wii is one of the most successful consoles ever, it's natural to think that the game that came with it would get considerable play time. Its simple gameplay made it a great introduction to the Wii hardware and remote, with games such as tennis, bowling and boxing all offering simple enjoyment with almost non-existent learning curves.

Now, we are set to get the official sequel in Wii Sports Resort, a title that had promised to showcase Nintendo's new Wii MotionPlus (a device which allows for more accurate motion sensoring) with all-new games. From Frisbee to swordplay, to basketball and archery, Wii Sports Resort is set to give us everything we loved about Wii Sports...plus! (pun not intended)

With the release right around the corner, we're going to help make sure you're prepared and ready before you visit Wii Sports Resort. Down below are 12 things you need to do before you head on over and delve straight into the action.

12 Ways to get ready for Wii Sports Resort

12. Play Ultimate Frisbee

With Frisbee added to the game list in Wii Sports Resort, you'll need to be prepared for anything. This includes being tackled to the ground and having your life threatened if you beat someone who isn't very good with MotionPlus. Ultimate Frisbee with toughen you up and put hair on the palms of your hands, making you ready for anything and everything that may come (or get thrown) your way.

Alternatively, you can just play frisbee with a dog.

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11. Get a Jet Ski license and hit the waves

Power Cruising on a big, clunky jet ski might seem simple - you just twist and accelerate, right? - but it's not. We recommend you go out, pay the few hundred dollars it costs to get a jet ski license (you'll need one to power a motorised jet ski on the water in Victoria) and head on out during one of the many windy days still to come in the Australian winter. It'll toughen you up for some intense action against your mates once you hit the Resort.

Alternatively, you could just play some Wave Race 64. Whatever tickles your fancy.

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10. Challenge someone (a complete stranger) to a sword duel

This is what you do:

1. Get a glove.

2. Walk up to a stranger in the street.

3. Slap that stranger with the glove.

4. Scream out, "I challenge you!"

It's common knowledge (we think) that if you slap someone with a glove, it's time to get down a dirty. Ensure you have a sword of some sort for both you and your unsuspecting opponent. Try and play defensive and let them come at you as aggressively as possible. Everyone knows how to swing and stab, but it's the defense that lets people down. When you head to the Resort, you need to be able to counter and protect yourself, so that when the opportunity arises, you can go in for the kill.

Alternatively, you could just watch The Empire Strikes Back.

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9. Go to China and learn how to play Table Tennis.

It's pretty common knowledge that unless you're Asian, you can't play table tennis. You can't argue that. And we don't care if you're Anglo and you can - no matter how good you are, at least five other Asians are better than you.

OK, so it's a bad stereotype, but have you seen the Chinese play? The best table tennis players in the world are from China, so we suggest hoping on a plane and stretching your arm muscles so as to go all out and train your butt off in anticipation of hardcore table tennis at the Resort.

Alternatively, you could just play against someone that sucks just as much as you do. It might save you a $1200 as well.

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8. Try to win a major golf Open

Don't give us the whole "But what about Tiger Woods!?!?" argument. If you want to be successful at Wii Sports Resort, you must own everyone at golf. The only way you're going to do that is if you beat the best.

The British Open just finished, and while the next Open won't be until after Wii Sports Resort is open for business, you can still make up what you've lost by giving up around $1.5 Million of your hard earned cash to have a round of golf with Tiger and have him teach you the ropes.

Alternatively, you could just play some Everybody's Golf on PS3 and save yourself having your butt kicked by one of the centuries best ever sportsmen.

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7. Be one of the first to go into space with Virgin Galactic

Do you have a few hundred thousand dollars lying around? If you do, then put your name down to head up into space with Virgin Galactic. While the first ship won't launch for a few years and you'll have to postpone your trip to Wii Sports Resort, you'll own the skies, as your body will have adjusted to altitude and responded far more efficiently to being up so high.

Alternatively, you could just go sky diving.

Or not.

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6. Try and hit the million dollar half-court shot at an NBA game.

Wait a few months, hop on a plane get yourself some kick-ass, courtside tickets to some NBA action. Then, put your name down (along with thousands of other people) to participate in the million dollar half-court shot at half-time. If you're lucky enough to be chosen (you probably won't be), try your best to make the shot. If you miss it, do the whole process again until you get picked again. Do it until you finally make a shot.

Alternatively, you could just buy Wii Sports Resort and play the three-point shoot-out game until you master it.

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5. Try and take out some birds with a sling-shot

Practice on your aim and steady hand by making your own sling-shot at home and taking out some helpless birds in the backyard. This will help prepare you for the toughness and competitiveness that is the archery tournament on Wii Sports Resort. No one likes birds anyway, right?

Alternatively, you could avoid jail time for animal cruelty by not making a sling-shot.

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4. Win the Tour De France

You'll probably have to practice for a few years, but it will be well worth it when you get to the Resort and blow everyone away on the cycling track. Winning the ultimate race of cycling, the Tour De France, will win you respect and have your competitors fearing you on the Resort.

Alternatively, you could just ride your push-bike to your mates place.

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3. Bowl a perfect game in Human Bowling

Collect 10 of your closest (or 10 people you hate) together and set them up like you would 10 bowling pins. Then, hop into a golf cart and drive towards them. Try to knock all 10 of them over. If you do, you're ready to do some bowling on the Resort. If not, find some new friends.

Alternatively, you could avoid being charged for manslaughter by just going bowling with the people you'd otherwise have used for human pins.

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2. Go to the Swiss Alps for some white-water rafting

The canoeing you'll be involved in at the Resort isn't quite as intense as white-water rafting in the rough rivers of the Swiss Alps, but it's better to be prepared for anything!

Most tour groups do a level 3 on the rafts (level 5 is the worst level and near deadly), but we recommend doing a level 4, by yourself, so as to prepare yourself for anything unexpected on the Resort in the water while canoeing.

Alternatively, you could just not risk your life and just say you're scared of water.

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1. Do some car boarding (ala. Marty McFly in Back to the Future)

Even if you suck at any type of boarding, car boarding is pretty damn easy. All you need is a skateboard, an unsuspecting driver and a hell of a lot of guts. Grab onto the moving car (a car doing over 120kmph is recommended) and have it pull you. The real test is holding on as it goes around tight bends at top speed.

If you survive that (you probably won't) then you'll be ready to do some wake boarding on Wii Sports Resort. The waves can get pretty intense around the island, but nowhere near as intense as having skin grazed from your face as a 4WD tows you along a freeway.

Alternatively, you could just have your dog pull you around the backyard for 10 minutes.

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Well, there you have it. 12 ways to get you ready for Wii Sports Resort. We hope all of the above tips have you primed and ready for the intense competition you're bound to face.

NOTE: We have no idea how to really prepare for Wii Sports Resort. We tried all of the above and none of them worked.

Tags: date ds dsi motion+ motionplus Nintendo release Resort review sports Wii

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