Hannah Montana: The Movie Review
Written By Gaetano Prestia
One would think (and hope) that any game based on the Hannah Montana license would incorporate some sort of karaoke gameplay at the very least. Other games released in the franchise, while not very good, still offered fans of the series the ability to sing along to some of the more memorable tunes from the television series. Why oh why then has the official game of Hannah Montana: The Movie gone in the direction of rhythm-based adventure game? Is there really anyone in the world that would care about guiding Miley Stewart through the troubles and tribulations of her world? Probably, yes, but that doesn’t automatically mean the game will be very good. In fact, Hannah Montana: The Movie sucks. Really, really bad. It’s not a good game and most, if not all, of the gameplay elements have been incorporated very poorly. Hannah Montana: The Movie is the epitome of the stereotypical movie-licensed video-game – it’s rushed, boring and near unplayable.
You play as Miley Stewart and her alter ego Hannah Montana as she tries to save her hometown of Crowley Corners, Tennessee. A majority of the time you’ll play as Miley as you buy clothes and ride your house around town. There are a few mini-games as well, none of which are any good, and the Hannah Montana part of the game has you following on-screen prompts while a song is played.
Most of the mini-games and quests have absolutely nothing to do with the story (if you could call it a story) and are so tedious and boring that you’ll struggle to even complete one of them. Most have you trekking across large boring environments, only to have you return over that same area to go back to where you came from. The whole aspect of the quests is brought down even more by the fact that Miley can’t run. Just walk. And this isn’t a fast-paced walk-sprint either. It’s a slow, “I haven’t got a care in the world” walk. The mini-games are so poorly designed that you can’t help but wonder why the developer just didn’t go with a karaoke game. It’s what Hannah Montana fans probably want anyway.
The Hannah Montana parts are just as poorly executed, as you are subjected to horrendous character animations and gameplay that really has nothing to do with anything that is happening on-screen. You follow the prompts as they appear, but Hannah’s movements seem to have had no influence whatsoever from what you’re actually doing with the controller. You’re tasked with having to press the correct button associated with a corresponding icon that appears on screen. It’s not at all enjoyable.
Then there are the guitar sequences that have you playing tunes on five guitar strings, only to hear a single “chime” every time you hit the right note. No guitar sound. No rhythm. Nothing. Just a “chime”.
Finally, there’s the “singing”. Hannah will run on stage and grab the microphone, but instead of actually singing along with her, you press a button in correspondence with the word appearing on the screen so that Hannah will sing it. What the hell is the point of that? It’s just plain stupid and no fun at all. Whose idea was it to incorporate this instead of karaoke?
The Final Verdict
Hannah Montana: The Movie sucks. It’s no good at all. Stay away from it. Don’t even buy it for your little sister that is obsessed with the franchise. It’s such an illogically executed game that the developers should be fired for and banned from ever working in the industry again.
Gameplay
1.5/10
Whose idea was it to incorporated button-mashing instead of actual singing during the song parts? And the mini-games are horrible. And for crying out loud Miley, run!
Graphics
2.0/10
Terrible. Just terrible. Horrendous character design and animations and even worse environments.
Sound
5.0/10
A few songs (we assume are) from the television series. Terrible voice-acting.
Value
0.0/10
It’s not worth a cent.
Overall
1.0/10